I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
