Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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