Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
