are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My liver just broke up with me...
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize