absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize