Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
