Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
