Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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