Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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