So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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