Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize