we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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