Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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