Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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