he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
