I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
