Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
