This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize