I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
