I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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