I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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