he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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