Whod you bang
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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