You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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