i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
