so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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