Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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