Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
