i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
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I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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