The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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