we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me