your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA