Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

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  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65378) Bad night (3435)
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  (518): View more from New York

  im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.

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  (518): im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there. http://tfl.nu/bvrv
  Replies (27) Good night (4624) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out

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  (817): I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out http://tfl.nu/wed3
  Replies (28) Good night (3109) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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  (818): I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal. http://tfl.nu/asxv
  Replies (23) Good night (4025) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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  (775): she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward http://tfl.nu/zi7g
  Replies (10) Good night (5680) Bad night (1128) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.

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  (918): It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever. http://tfl.nu/0i0j
  Replies (31) Good night (788) Bad night (5764) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.

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  (651): She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can. http://tfl.nu/7y77
  Replies (9) Good night (3147) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.

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  (240): my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight. http://tfl.nu/cb14
  Replies (2) Good night (3294) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus

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  (213): I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus http://tfl.nu/i6gi
  Replies (5) Good night (733) Bad night (1656) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.

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  (215): I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka. http://tfl.nu/sqs3
  Replies (5) Good night (962) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?

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  (208): And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs? http://tfl.nu/xb1m
  Replies (2) Good night (1346) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool

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  (778): He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool http://tfl.nu/x8lz
  Replies (5) Good night (1011) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.

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  (541): rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work. http://tfl.nu/d84s
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?

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  (518): No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark? http://tfl.nu/5sw5
  Replies (2) Good night (238) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.

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  (615): How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long. http://tfl.nu/h6mm
  Replies (16) Good night (1052) Bad night (308)

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