I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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