using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
