So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
