You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
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you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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