do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
