Pants 0. Shit 1.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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