its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
