Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
