Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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