I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
