Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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