Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
