Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
