I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
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i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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