I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
