bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
