so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
