You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
