dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
