Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize