somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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