I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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