school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
