Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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