I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
