she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
