sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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