are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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