Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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