Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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