Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize