I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
