just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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