her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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