her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
